JOY

What is joy?

There are many definitions for the word joy...I like this one...

Joy- a source or cause of delight

Spend some time creating a list of all the things that bring you joy.  It can be 10 things or 100 things, it doesn't matter....just notice the things that bring you joy as you go about your day and jot down whatever comes to mind.  This doesn't have to done in one sitting...it can be an ongoing project. Each day take a moment and just be in a state of gratitude for all the joyful things in your life.

Here are some of mine in no particular order:

1.   my family
2.   the beach
3.   my little Shih Tzu, Gizmo
4.   sunsets
5.   babies
6.   baby animals
7.   a good book
8.   bubble baths
9.   waterfalls
10. being with friends
11. butterflies
12. traveling
13. flowers
14. dancing
15. music
16. the change of seasons...especially spring and fall
17. flip flops
18. decorating
19. art
20. entertaining
21. candles, spas, massage
22. sunrises
23. being in nature
24. learning
25. personal development books or courses
26. d.i.y projects
27. watching food network and d.i.y network and HGTV
28. comfy pajamas
29. a hot cup of tea or coffee in my favorite mug
30. sitting in front of a blazing fire
31. hiking in the mountains
32. sailing or cruising 
33. girls night out
34. old photos and reminiscing
35. surprises
36. turquoise, peacock blue, aquamarine
37. hot pink
38. shopping
39. exploring a new travel destination
40. Mrs. Meyer's cleaning products
41. movies
42. beautiful photography
43. laughter
44. playing games
45. making my own cleaning products
46. hummingbirds
47. blue and white dishes
48. cocktails on the deck
49. having a day with no obligations or commitments
50. seashells
51. sandcastles
52. cooking a new recipe
53. the smell of lavender or fresh linens
54. the smell of baby products
55. roasting marshmallows over an open fire
56. dolphins
57. gardening
58. drawing or painting
59. my faith
60. the smell of spring
61. the crisp air of fall
62. snow covered trees and mountains
63. lazy summer days
64. tropical vacations
65. jumping on a trampoline
66. rearranging furniture
67. new shoes or a new outfit
68. bunnies
69. angels
70. road trips
71. antiques
72. fresh herbs
73. fruit-flavored water
74. journaling
75. being with family
76. comfy clothes
77. fresh washed sheets
78. a clean house
79. watching old movies
80. lying in a hammock
81. being grateful
82. Facebook
83. Pinterest
84. going to my favorite restaurant
85. calls or texts from my children or hubby
86. creating tablescapes
87. scrapbooking
88. hugs and snuggling in bed
89. fuzzy sweaters in winter
90. dressing up in formal attire
91. sundresses
92. puppies
93. wildflowers
94. spring flowers
95. walking on the beach
96. sunbathing
97. witnessing the birth of a newborn baby
98. helping people
99. giving people presents
100. being in the moment

What Matters In Life

www.youtube.com/watch?v=
zsY6UrFIsNs 

The Dash by Linda Ellis




I was watching a short video called "The Dash" and I was struck by the realization that even though Mom is no longer here with me, she is still continuing to teach me, even in her death.

I always knew that my mom was one of my greatest teachers. Now even though she has passed on she is still teaching me. Mom truly lived the dash between the date of her birth and the date of her death. To her the most important things in life were relationships...her relationship with God, and her relationships with her family and friends. Although Mom loved pretty things like most of us, things were not what was important in her life. What was most important to Mom were her faith and the people that God placed in her life. She touched so many people with her quiet and gentle spirit and her strong faith. My husband used her recently as an example of leadership in a leadership conference that he attended. Most people would not think of my mom as an example of leadership....she was very quiet and meek. But in her own quietly powerful way she WAS a leader.  She quietly led by example and she has left her legacy behind for her children, grandchildren and all the people whose lived she touched.

So to Mom..."I'm slowing down to consider what is really important in life and I'm paying attention, Mom. You taught me well and are teaching me still even though you are no longer here in your earthly body. You taught me what is important in life, but there are still things that I would like to change and my greatest wish is to be more like you.  Thanks Mom!

Coping With Grief and Loss

The subject of grief and loss will probably be an ongoing series in my blog as I struggle to make sense of a world without my beloved mom. Writing about my feelings has always helped me process what was going on in my life and has been a cathartic process for me. 

I've been in the grieving process for a long time... Mom was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer back in August 2006 and I think I officially started grieving her loss when she was first diagnosed. I went through various stages of the grief process...denial, anger, bargaining and depression during her long illness and I think I was on my way to acceptance when Mom's condition started deteriorating over the last few months. Mom passed away on April 12, 2013 and her loss is still very fresh. I think I am revisiting some of the previous stages of the grieving process and from what I read, this is normal, as everyone has their own way of passing through this process. I'm sharing this very personal part of my blog with the hope that if someone else out there is struggling with the loss of a loved one or a dear friend or even the loss of something else...maybe you are grieving the loss of a former lifestyle, or some other loss in your life. My hope is that maybe as I move through this process it will help someone else connect with the feelings of loss and sadness that are normal parts of the grief process. 

My mom was so much more than a mother to me...she was my best friend and confidant, my greatest teacher and role model, and my biggest cheerleader, supporter and encourager. At times I feel lost without her and overcome by sadness. Other times I remember all those happy and special times with her and I know she would not want me to be sad, but want me to remember the good times and be happy that she is now free of pain and suffering and at peace. Still other times I get knocked back into denial and disbelief that she is actually no longer here. I think this is all normal. The important thing is that I really feel all the feelings that are coming up and not bury them inside.

Stages of Grief 

The stages of mourning are universal and are experienced by people from all walks of life. Mourning occurs in response to an individual’s own terminal illness or to the death of a valued being, human or animal. There are five stages of normal grief. They were first proposed by Elisabeth Kubler-Ross in her 1969 book “On Death and Dying.” 

1. Denial and Isolation 
2. Anger 
3. Bargaining 
4. Depression 
5. Acceptance 

psychcentral.com/lib/200
6/the-5-stages-of-loss-and
-grief/ 

Some sources list 7 stages of grief: 

1. Shock and denial 
2. Pain and guilt 
3. Anger and bargaining 
4. Depression, Reflection, Loneliness 
5. The upward turn 
6. Reconstruction and working through 
7. Acceptance and hope 

www.recover-from-grief.c
om/7-stages-of-grief.html 


www.hns.org/Portals/1/St
ages%20of%20Grief.pdf 


"Everyone grieves differently 
Grieving is a personal and highly individual experience. How you grieve depends on many factors, including your personality and coping style, your life experience, your faith, and the nature of the loss. The grieving process takes time. Healing happens gradually; it can’t be forced or hurried – and there is no “normal” timetable for grieving. Some people start to feel better in weeks or months. For others, the grieving process is measured in years. Whatever your grief experience, it’s important to be patient with yourself and allow the process to naturally unfold." 
www.helpguide.org/mental
/grief_loss.htm 

It is important to interpret the stages loosely, and expect much individual variation. There is no neat progression from one stage to the next. In reality, there is much looping back, or stages can hit at the same time, or occur out of order. 
www.recover-from-grief.c
om/7-stages-of-grief.html 

Taking Care Of Yourself 

www.hns.org/Portals/1/Ta
king%20Care%20of%20Yoursel
f%20Handout.pdf 

Myths and Facts About Grief 

www.hns.org/Portals/1/My
ths%20and%20Facts%20About%
20Grief.pdf 

Missing Mom

My mom passed away on April 12 after a long battle with pancreatic cancer.  We were so blessed to have her for over 6 1/2 years after her diagnosis, but losing her has been really tough. Mom was so much more than just a mother to me.  She was my rock, my best friend, my biggest cheerleader, and encourager and some days I just feel so lost without her.

This morning I was having a really tough time, missing her so much.  I woke up thinking about her as I do most days. Some days it's just so hard to believe that she is no longer here.  I can't just pick up the phone and call her any more. There are just some days where it really hits me so hard!

I decided to go for a walk early this morning because sometimes that helps. As I walking today I could really feel mom's spirit with me.  This pretty little robin kept appearing during my walk.  It would hop along in the grass a short distance away as I was walking, only to fly off and then reappear to hop along with me again. It was almost as if Mom was saying...I'm not here in my earthly body any longer, but my spirit is still with you and you will see me and feel me if you look carefully with your heart.

After my walk, I was looking through my mom's Bible.  It is such a treasure full of all these beautiful glimpses into Mom's heart.  It is filled with personal notes from Mom, Bible verses that were special to her, prayer lists, cards, and devotionals, etc.  The first thing that caught my attention today was this little paper called "This Thing Is From Me...." by Laura A Barter Snow.

This part really spoke to me personally....Are you passing through a night of sorrow?  This thing is from Me.  I am the "Man of Sorrows, and acquainted with grief. " I have let earthly comforters fail you, that, by turning to Me, you may obtain everlasting consolation. (II Thessalonians 2 :16,17)

I'm so grateful that God picked just the perfect mother for me.  Mom was my rock and sometimes I feel so lost without her now.  She was always the person I turned to when I needed comfort or encouragement and I was given such a gift to have this special lady in my life.  But the message I received today was that I need to let God be my comforter.  I need to turn my eyes to Him and trust and depend on Him instead of on Mom.

Trust in the LORD forever, for the LORD, the LORD himself, is the Rock eternal.  Isaiah 26:4


This Thing Is from Me by Laura A. Barter Snow

My child, I have a message for you today; let me whisper it in your ear, that it may gild with glory any storm clouds which may arise, and smooth the rough places upon which you may have to tread. It is short, only five words, but let them sink into your innermost soul; use them as a pillow upon which to rest your weary head: “This thing is from Me.”

Have you ever thought of it, that all that concerns you concerns Me too? “For whoever touches you touches the apple of Mine eye.” (Zechariah 2:8). And “You are very precious in My sight” (Isaiah 43:4).

I would have you learn when temptations assail you and the enemy comes in like a flood that “This things is from Me,” that your weakness needs My might, and your safety lies in letting Me fight for you.

Are you in difficult circumstances, surrounded by people who do not understand you? Who never consult your taste? Who put you in the background? “This things is from Me.” I am the God of circumstances. You did not come to this place by accident; it is the very place God meant fr you. Have you not asked to be made humble? See then, I have placed you in the very school where this lesson is taught. Your surroundings and companions are only working out My will.

Are you in money difficulties? Is it hard to make both ends meet? “This thing is from Me,” for I am your provider and would have you draw from and depend upon Me. “My God will meet all your needs according to His glorious riches in Christ Jesus” (Philippians 4:19). I would have you prove My promises.

Are you passing through a night of sorrow? This thing is from Me.” Am the the “Man of Sorrows and acquainted with grief.” I have let earthly comforters fail you. Turn to Me so that you may receive everlasting consolation.

Has some friend disappointed you? One to whom you opned your heart? “This thing is from Me.” I have allowed this disappointment to come that you may learn that I am your best friend. I want to be the One you confide in.

Has someone repeated things about you that are note true? “This thing is from Me.” Leave them to Me and draw closer to Me. “The salvation of the righteous comes from the Lord; He is their stronghold in time of trouble” (Psalm 37:39).

Have your plans been upset? “This thing is from Me.” You made your plans and then asked Me to bless them; but I would have you let Me plan for you. “‘For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the Lord, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future’” (Jeremiah 29:11).

Have you longed to do some great work for Me and instead have been laid aside on a bed of pain and weakness? “This thing is ifrom Me.” I want to teach you some of My deepest lessons. “They also serve who only stand and wait.” Some of my greatest workers are those shut out from active service that they may learn to wield the weapon of all prayer.

Are you suddenly called upon to occupy a difficult and responsible position? “This thing is from Me.: Trust Me. “Those who wait on the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not faint” (Isaiah 40:31).
This day I place in your heands this pot of holy oil; make use of it freely, My child. Let every circumstance that would crush you, every word that pains you, every revelation of your own weakness be anointed with it. The sting will go as you learn to see Me in all things.
“ will turn the darkness into light before them and make the rough places smooth. These are the things I will do; I will not forsake them” (Isaiah 42:16).