The subject of grief and loss will probably be an ongoing
series in my blog as I struggle to make sense of a world without my beloved
mom. Writing about my feelings has always helped me process what was going on
in my life and has been a cathartic process for me.
I've been in the grieving process for a long time... Mom was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer back in August 2006 and I think I officially started grieving her loss when she was first diagnosed. I went through various stages of the grief process...denial, anger, bargaining and depression during her long illness and I think I was on my way to acceptance when Mom's condition started deteriorating over the last few months. Mom passed away on April 12, 2013 and her loss is still very fresh. I think I am revisiting some of the previous stages of the grieving process and from what I read, this is normal, as everyone has their own way of passing through this process. I'm sharing this very personal part of my blog with the hope that if someone else out there is struggling with the loss of a loved one or a dear friend or even the loss of something else...maybe you are grieving the loss of a former lifestyle, or some other loss in your life. My hope is that maybe as I move through this process it will help someone else connect with the feelings of loss and sadness that are normal parts of the grief process.
My mom was so much more than a mother to me...she was my best friend and confidant, my greatest teacher and role model, and my biggest cheerleader, supporter and encourager. At times I feel lost without her and overcome by sadness. Other times I remember all those happy and special times with her and I know she would not want me to be sad, but want me to remember the good times and be happy that she is now free of pain and suffering and at peace. Still other times I get knocked back into denial and disbelief that she is actually no longer here. I think this is all normal. The important thing is that I really feel all the feelings that are coming up and not bury them inside.
Stages of Grief
The stages of mourning are universal and are experienced by people from all walks of life. Mourning occurs in response to an individual’s own terminal illness or to the death of a valued being, human or animal. There are five stages of normal grief. They were first proposed by Elisabeth Kubler-Ross in her 1969 book “On Death and Dying.”
1. Denial and Isolation
2. Anger
3. Bargaining
4. Depression
5. Acceptance
psychcentral.com/lib/200
6/the-5-stages-of-loss-and
-grief/
Some sources list 7 stages of grief:
1. Shock and denial
2. Pain and guilt
3. Anger and bargaining
4. Depression, Reflection, Loneliness
5. The upward turn
6. Reconstruction and working through
7. Acceptance and hope
www.recover-from-grief.c
om/7-stages-of-grief.html
www.hns.org/Portals/1/St
ages%20of%20Grief.pdf
"Everyone grieves differently
Grieving is a personal and highly individual experience. How you grieve depends on many factors, including your personality and coping style, your life experience, your faith, and the nature of the loss. The grieving process takes time. Healing happens gradually; it can’t be forced or hurried – and there is no “normal” timetable for grieving. Some people start to feel better in weeks or months. For others, the grieving process is measured in years. Whatever your grief experience, it’s important to be patient with yourself and allow the process to naturally unfold."
www.helpguide.org/mental
/grief_loss.htm
It is important to interpret the stages loosely, and expect much individual variation. There is no neat progression from one stage to the next. In reality, there is much looping back, or stages can hit at the same time, or occur out of order.
www.recover-from-grief.c
om/7-stages-of-grief.html
Taking Care Of Yourself
www.hns.org/Portals/1/Ta
king%20Care%20of%20Yoursel
f%20Handout.pdf
Myths and Facts About Grief
www.hns.org/Portals/1/My
ths%20and%20Facts%20About%
20Grief.pdf
I've been in the grieving process for a long time... Mom was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer back in August 2006 and I think I officially started grieving her loss when she was first diagnosed. I went through various stages of the grief process...denial, anger, bargaining and depression during her long illness and I think I was on my way to acceptance when Mom's condition started deteriorating over the last few months. Mom passed away on April 12, 2013 and her loss is still very fresh. I think I am revisiting some of the previous stages of the grieving process and from what I read, this is normal, as everyone has their own way of passing through this process. I'm sharing this very personal part of my blog with the hope that if someone else out there is struggling with the loss of a loved one or a dear friend or even the loss of something else...maybe you are grieving the loss of a former lifestyle, or some other loss in your life. My hope is that maybe as I move through this process it will help someone else connect with the feelings of loss and sadness that are normal parts of the grief process.
My mom was so much more than a mother to me...she was my best friend and confidant, my greatest teacher and role model, and my biggest cheerleader, supporter and encourager. At times I feel lost without her and overcome by sadness. Other times I remember all those happy and special times with her and I know she would not want me to be sad, but want me to remember the good times and be happy that she is now free of pain and suffering and at peace. Still other times I get knocked back into denial and disbelief that she is actually no longer here. I think this is all normal. The important thing is that I really feel all the feelings that are coming up and not bury them inside.
Stages of Grief
The stages of mourning are universal and are experienced by people from all walks of life. Mourning occurs in response to an individual’s own terminal illness or to the death of a valued being, human or animal. There are five stages of normal grief. They were first proposed by Elisabeth Kubler-Ross in her 1969 book “On Death and Dying.”
1. Denial and Isolation
2. Anger
3. Bargaining
4. Depression
5. Acceptance
psychcentral.com/lib/200
6/the-5-stages-of-loss-and
-grief/
Some sources list 7 stages of grief:
1. Shock and denial
2. Pain and guilt
3. Anger and bargaining
4. Depression, Reflection, Loneliness
5. The upward turn
6. Reconstruction and working through
7. Acceptance and hope
www.recover-from-grief.c
om/7-stages-of-grief.html
www.hns.org/Portals/1/St
ages%20of%20Grief.pdf
"Everyone grieves differently
Grieving is a personal and highly individual experience. How you grieve depends on many factors, including your personality and coping style, your life experience, your faith, and the nature of the loss. The grieving process takes time. Healing happens gradually; it can’t be forced or hurried – and there is no “normal” timetable for grieving. Some people start to feel better in weeks or months. For others, the grieving process is measured in years. Whatever your grief experience, it’s important to be patient with yourself and allow the process to naturally unfold."
www.helpguide.org/mental
/grief_loss.htm
It is important to interpret the stages loosely, and expect much individual variation. There is no neat progression from one stage to the next. In reality, there is much looping back, or stages can hit at the same time, or occur out of order.
www.recover-from-grief.c
om/7-stages-of-grief.html
Taking Care Of Yourself
www.hns.org/Portals/1/Ta
king%20Care%20of%20Yoursel
f%20Handout.pdf
Myths and Facts About Grief
www.hns.org/Portals/1/My
ths%20and%20Facts%20About%
20Grief.pdf
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